my_own_advocate | Samsara, Sunday Evening

It wasn't a great idea to keep sticking to old traditions to the letter, Lucifer and Octavia had found last weekend. And so Lucifer had suggested something else for this Sunday night.

Samsara.

It was a place where she felt safe. And it could-- go somewhere else, for a nice change of scenery. "Should we take her to the back of the preserve? Or head further along the coast?" Lucifer asked, as he hopped aboard, basket of food in hand.

[[ for her ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

okteiviakom

"Why would something good feel like a 'grey blob'?"

The air quote-y little gesture may have been Duke's influence.

From:

my_own_advocate

"Because nothing can all be the same kind of good, can it?" Lucifer asked. "I mean, I vastly prefer a hand job from either of you to one from anyone else. It's always good. That doesn't mean there aren't a legion of other acts I find particularly good. The ones that stick to memory."

From:

okteiviakom

"Feeling really encouraged to share my thoughts and feelings here, Lucifer," Octavia rasped, though not unkindly.

From:

my_own_advocate

Lucifer shrugged. "I'm just saying," he said. "It's not like your 'I don't have a preference' thing doesn't feel somewhat judgmental on this end."

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia looked genuinely surprised, at that.

"Judgmental? How?"

From:

my_own_advocate

"I know you don't mean it like this," Lucifer said, repressing the urge to reach for his flask, "But it does sound a bit like 'the proper way to love someone is if you love absolutely everything about them equally'."

From:

okteiviakom

"Riiight," Octavia said, slowly. Not looking terribly impressed, in all honesty. "Feels like you're reading way into me not having a preference on what position Duke looks prettiest in."

From:

my_own_advocate

"Feeling really encouraged to share my thoughts and feelings here, Octavia," Lucifer drawled.

From:

okteiviakom

"If you feel judged when I don't have an opinion about one small thing the way you do," Octavia replied, leaning back in her seat again (her fingers slipping away from his), "I don't know what to tell you. You have a preference and I love that you do, even if it's mostly because I love listening to you talk to me about it. That doesn't mean I'm gonna have one, too, and that doesn't mean anything."

From:

my_own_advocate

"I just think you can't have no preference," Lucifer said, shaking his head.

From:

okteiviakom

"Why not?"

The exasperation was genuine. And so was the hint of helplessness that went with it.

From:

my_own_advocate

"Because there's always something," Lucifer sighed. "Would you be happy just getting fingered for the rest of your life?"

From:

okteiviakom

"What, so you think I have no preference about anything now?"

From:

my_own_advocate

"I'm talking specifically about sex," Lucifer said, "With either of us. Would you be happy just having this one basic sex act done to you by us forever, or would you say, 'hold up, there's this thing I like and I'm not getting it'?"

From:

okteiviakom

"You know, when you asked if you could get on this topic or whether it would make me uncomfortable," Octavia told him, raising her eyebrows, "I didn't think you were going to make me uncomfortable."

From:

my_own_advocate

"Sorry," Lucifer said, raising his hands in surrender. "I'll stop talking."

From:

okteiviakom

"Little late for that now."

That was the discomfort talking.

It was there in the way she folded her arms over her chest, too.

"All this time I've been talking about one thing," she continued. "Not all of sex, just one thing. Was that not clear? Because it really feels like you've just jumped straight to thinking you need to prove I have preferences about other sex stuff."

Edited Date: 6 Jun 2022 23:37 (UTC)

From:

my_own_advocate

"It was not clear," Lucifer said.

Because that was the simplest and truest explanation for where this had gone wrong.

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia stared at him.

"How was I supposed to make it clearer than by saying several times it was about 'one thing' and even repeating what the one thing was? Especially when you know about my preferences better than anyone?"

Because he saw a side of them no one else was privy to. (Wasn't supposed to be, anyway.)

From:

my_own_advocate

"Because you're always like this about Duke," Lucifer said slowly. "All-- 'everything is good'. I honestly didn't realize the 'one thing' wasn't 'sex in general' but 'positioning, specifically'."

From:

okteiviakom

"... How do you not realize when I said so?"

From:

my_own_advocate

"I may have been a bit too far up my own argument at that point," Lucifer admitted.

From:

okteiviakom

"The argument that you just -- went straight into without telling me we were suddenly supposed to be talking on a wider level."

Just to be clear.

From:

my_own_advocate

"Because I thought we were already talking on a wider level," Lucifer said. "Look, can we just accept we had some ridiculous miscommunication and I made it worse by steamrolling on ahead?"