my_own_advocate | The Cape Rouge, Monday Evening

Entry tags:

The Cape Rouge, Monday Evening

Sunday had been Date Night for Lucifer and Octavia, as always. On Monday, Lucifer had gotten it into his head he wanted to do something for Duke. 'Something' had turned out to be a nice home-cooked meal and some time out on the water.

And while Lucifer had contemplated taking the show to his house, as he did with Octavia-- something within him had craved... well, this.

The gentle sway of the water beneath the boat - permanent background radiation now of his life - lulling him into an easy calm as he flopped over onto his back on the bed, still catching his breath. "I can't believe how much I like this bed," he mumbled, inanely.

He'd make sense of it in a moment.

[[ for him ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

"I love you too," Lucifer whispered.

His fingers began to run through Duke's hair. Soothingly.

Not that he'd noticed anything, or anything.

Of course not. Duke was very good at pretending!

Duke sighed into his shoulder, breathing steadily until he stopped feeling as much like he might burst into tears at any moment.

(So am I supposed to comfort you now?)

"I want to try for it," he said finally. "For that future."

Lucifer nodded slowly. "I do too," he said. "Though I've got bugger all idea how to, exactly."

"Other than running away to the Bahamas right now?"

"Tempting," Lucifer said. "Though I think Octavia would prefer something a bit more woodsy at this stage."

"True," Duke mused. "She'd miss the Preserve like crazy. And you only just opened your club."

He pushed upright with a jerk, staring down at Lucifer's face.

". . . The Bahamas is my perfect future."

... Well hello there, vertigo. "What?" Lucifer said, confused, as he stared up at Duke.

"You don't want to spend forever in the Bahamas," Duke said, twisting to sit upright and shoving his hand through his hair. "Octavia wants forests, not palm beaches. You two . . . gave up what you wanted. For me."

Lucifer expelled a loud sigh. "Not to the extent that it warrants this level of drama," he said. He reached for Duke. "Lay back down."

Duke didn't pull away, but he didn't lay back down, either.

"I didn't even notice. Were you two just . . . resenting me the whole time?"

Yeah. That was definitely some staring going on there, now. "No," Lucifer said, emphatically. "You ridiculous bloody man, why would we resent you over choices we made freely? That doesn't even make any sense."

"You can't tell me you'd be . . . totally perfectly happy without any -- any glamour."

"I don't think there was no glamour," Lucifer said, giving Duke's arm a gentle tug. "Either way, it was clearly a choice future me made between being fully subsumed by city life and getting to see you happy every day while getting his glitz in smaller quantities, and frankly, I don't think he was unhappy with his choices."

Duke rocked with the tug, but didn't lie down yet.

"But . . . for me?"

"I know this continues to be hard for you to believe, but we do in fact love you," Lucifer said. Another tug. "And you've dealt with enough people who expected you to give everything up for them." Beat. "Besides, I'm offended you don't think I bring the glamour with me wherever I go."

Edited 2022-08-17 01:07 (UTC)

“You didn’t have a big city nightclub in the Bahamas,” Duke muttered, but let himself be drawn back down. “Just because I know what it’s like doesn’t mean I want people doing it for me. We should all get something we like.”

"And we got a happy Duke," Lucifer said, wrapping his arms back around him. "Octavia got her garden. I got my beach club."

Whatever issues that version of him had with his family - he couldn't put his finger on them - had nothing to do with Duke.

"I feel selfish," Duke admitted. Into Lucifer's shoulder. "We're not even living that life yet and -- I at least should have thought about it, right?"

He had. The other him. It was just such a long finished conversation that he didn't have to keep worrying about it by then.

"It's you, darling," Lucifer sighed. "I think the last five minutes demonstrate that there's very little chance of you not having multiple--" meltdowns, "--moments about this before we ever got that far."

He had a point there.

"I don't like the idea of you guys giving up on things for me," he muttered. "I know what that feels like. You deserve better."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Yes, I deserve so much better than to live in an island paradise with my ridiculously happy boyfriend and our partner," he drawled. "Not every compromise is about sacrificing some piece of your soul to keep someone, Crocker."

Duke didn’t have an answer for that.

In Haven, that was exactly what — basically everything meant. At least for a Crocker.

"Sometimes it's about deciding you care less about something than you do about the other person," Lucifer said, quieter. "Sometimes it's about-- Octavia and I marvelling how happy you were that weekend. About how incredibly satisfying it was to see that."

A pause. "Mind you, all of this is quite new to me," he said. "Bizarre, really."

Edited 2022-08-17 06:02 (UTC)

“Hey, I’m a happy guy!”

He was a guy who had learned to use performative happiness as armor. As a weapon.

“I think it’s sweet. You’re . . . breaking away from who your family thought you would be.”

"You're a guy who smiles and jokes all the bloody time," Lucifer said, patting him gently. "If that and 'happy' were the same thing, there'd be far less movie star overdoses in the world."

He'd get to the rest in a moment.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject